Wednesday 13 January 2010

Goblins, lynx and bears oh my

I suppose you could refer to me as something of a monster hunter. You know how it goes: ‘If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em’. Anyway, I always fancied being a female version of Van Helsing (mind you, come to think of it, being his assistant might be a more interesting idea if he did actually bear a resemblance to Hugh Jackman). Oh boy, that long leather coat, that hat and THAT crossbow. Why it was decided that Russell Crowe would make a great lead in the new Ridley Scott ‘Robin Hood’ when HJ would have fitted the part soooooo beautifully I cannot begin to understand. I can only assume that the latter was unavailable. Oh well c’est la vie. Hugh in Lincoln green tights and leather jerkin will have to wait then .....darn.
Uh hum, where was I?

Lost my thread there.

Do I really, once or twice a week - as and when spare time arises - don my walking boots, anorak, gloves and woolly hat (or pith helmet, shorts and flip-flips depending on what time of year it is) together with my large butterfly net, stills camera, video camera and collecting jar/body bag? Then do I really kiss Jon on the forehead and tell him not to wait up for me ‘as I may be some time’ and disappear into the darkness to hunt down such beasties as barghests, hobgoblins, boggarts, ghosts, trolls, dragons and even the odd lake monster or two?

Sorry to disappoint, but ‘fraid not. Well ... not really, although some of that may be true – in a way.

Methinks that I probably didn’t phrase my first sentence as accurately as I should have done. I should have added the word ‘armchair’ before the two magical words ‘monster’ and ‘hunter’. I am actually referring to the online Lord of the Rings game where I can vent my spleen on any hapless orc or any of the aforementioned beasties, or where I can wander fields of green or the mines of Moria and attempt to keep myself alive using tactics of cunning. Or, as is quite often the case - especially when Biggles needs to suddenly go outside for a pee - suffer defeat at the hands of miscalculated bravery/stupidity or having to leave myself in a less than ideal place where I can get my ankles chewed off by a roaming warg.

However, I suppose you could say that I get to see more monsters than most people and even have trophies on the walls of my Shire Homestead house to prove it.

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